I give you, you don’t give me, I don’t flip out

So recently I have been tested as I’d like to think of it, by a friend who simply doesn’t reciprocate.  Amazing person, but does not make the time to reciprocate the friendship.  At first it was troublesome, but then I took a step back.  A)-that person was going through things that my tiny world couldn’t even fathom.  So I had to take a step out of the normal attitude of 2010 (it isn’t that bad everybody goes through that)-no everyone doesn’t and I can’t expect everyone to react the same way.  And B)-God didn’t send us here to love the people that are easy to love (I have a feeling I honestly wouldn’t be as loved…b/c I’m a brat!)  But seriously-if we only love the people that it takes little or no effort to love, or the ones that are fun to love (generally under the age of 10)-then who loves everyone else?  So I have and am making a concerted effort to love those that don’t reciprocate the love and to not be offended by it. 

Excited, Nervous, Busy, stressed, and generally missing life...huh....

So lately things have gotten a little exciting around our house hold, and when I'm not caught up in the excitement, I get nervous or wrapped into the bus of our lives, that in turn honestly just stresses me out.  So when am I enjoying life again? Especially this time of year!  Seriously!  This is the time where I am supposed to remember how awesome life is because a tiny baby came into this world to save me from sin (and I totally need that every day!) {Side note-but awesome side note-seriously-this tiny baby, spitting, pooping, and needing to be coo-ed-is our savior-awesome!  Who doesn’t want to praise a tiny baby!  Talladega nights had something right, sorry…I’m rambling}

So what to do, what to do?  Well Doug challenged me the other night and made me think about all the extra things I put on my plate (or I make a priority).  So I’m trying to step back and really take a look at what I’m prioritizing.  It started today with me sitting at work, dead tired, wanting to take a nap, but thinking I should stay at work.  Then I realized I had no reason to so I left, went home and took a nap!  Beautiful.  Managed to do it guilt free too!  Amazing!  So I’m on a fantastic voyage, (without Coolio as my sidekick), to cut back on the things that I guilt myself into for no reason.  I realize I may disappoint someone along the way, but I will have to deal with that. 

I’m also attempting to really live in the moment more.  I’m notorious for making to do lists about the future, spacing off in a convo-because I’m planning the next thing I need to do (Doug knows that sometimes even though I try I don’t listen to what he is saying…), or just generally not enjoying an experience because I’m contemplating and planning another one.  (Seriously I’m always counting down to something that is going to make my life awesome….)  So I’m really trying to live in the moment.  Take time to enjoy the company I am with, and not think/plan anything else. 

So here is to cutting out the unnecessary things I pile on my plate (not literally because I will prolly still eat too much this Christmas), and living in the moment. 

God, thank you for all that you have blessed me with.  I pray that you will assist me in my current venture and that this will in turn make my walk with you stronger.  Let me remember that the excitement you have placed in my life is to be true excitement, and not stress.  Let me remember that above all this life is about love, and stress and taskers have no place in love.  Thank you for that precious baby.  Amen. 

P.S. I dedicate this blog to someone who keeps praising my work.  You remind me that this isn't just a rambling of my silly thoughts-but this is God and I am to spread God-even if it is my silly thoughts.  Thank you.  

A game of catch

About once a week, or on a good streak-once every two weeks I play catch w/ God.  Well not catch I guess.  More like I throw the ball to him, and then run and take it back.  So like a 2 year old's version of catch.  I get these terrible headaches and neck pains.  Literally for the last week I have gone to bed and woken up in some sort of pain.  I have wonderful drugs that ensure I can sleep which is awesome, until I wake up.  Some days I vow to do everything I can-eat right, exercise, stay active during the day, ect.  And yet I still get the pain at some point during the day. 

I feel like/ and often do cry out to God:
(Psalm 4) Answer me when I call to you,
      O God who declares me innocent.
   Free me from my troubles.
      Have mercy on me and hear my prayer.

But I know I also need to have faith that God can and will take away my pain.
Psalm 27:5:

    ⁵ For he will conceal me there when troubles come;
      he will hide me in his sanctuary.
      He will place me out of reach on a high rock.

So-I'm starting a new game.  It is like the last hole on the put put course.  I may not score a hole in one, but when I do get it in the hole-give it to God fully-and don't reach my hand in to try and get my ball back.  I will get a prize much greater than keeping my golf ball.

Game on!  God I give you my pain-I will depend on you to take this pain away from me.  You will place me out of reach from this pain.


P.S.  This is not to say that I am going to stop physical therapy but I will not depend on it like I will God.  

baby Christian meets sin city

So today wraps my first (intentional) trip to Las Vegas.  I really had no idea what to expect; but really wasn't prepared for the barrage of sin that I would meet and be faced with.  I began to battle the sin with an overall attitude of disgust. Only to realize that simply made me upset, not to mention feel awful snooty.  It took a day, by myself, walking the strip to realize what I should be doing-praying.  I prayed for the city, for the young women who were in the 'industry', for those that found themselves in trouble in the city, and for the men who passed me on the street-I thanked God for keeping me safe in the city.  So it took a while, but I am now at peace that Vegas just may not be for me-but I can still pray and praise in this city.
Thank you Lord for reminding me that I can ALWAYS pray.  Lots of prayers, baby steps for this baby Christian.     

I resolve

to continue to pray and be thankful for:
-those less fortunate.  And I mean in every way.  When I can look past the messy house, the ache in my neck, my homework that won't do itself and my job that isn't my favorite, I realize.  God blessed me with: good health, my soul-mate, a family to keep me balanced, friends across the globe, a job, the house I always wanted, amazing fall weather, and most of all the forgiveness that comes through Christ.  I am so quick to be down on something, that I really have to take an extra look and realize, how much God has blessed me with.  It's AMAZING!!!!
     - I need to pray for those less fortunate, and to not pity them, but to pray that they be blessed in the Lord's love through whatever trial they may be going through.
     - I am also resolving to be better at acts of kindness.  ah...I almost listed all the things I'm working on.  bahaha....almost got me satan.  I'm going to resolve to not boast my acts of kindness.
- I am going to remind myself to be thankful for the situations, thought they are not my favorite, they still have many good qualities.  For example, work-I generally feel like I'm babysitting my 58 year old boss.  However, my job is sweet: I get to come and go whenever I want; I tell my boss what I want to do; I work right across the hall from my darling husband, so we get to eat together and hang out a lot more than we normally wold. 
- I'm praying for patience.  Oh man do I need that.  I guess what I'm really working on more is turning everything over to God.  For example our current journey to add to our family.  Man did I just want it to happen first time out the gates!  But I'm turning it over to God.

May your will be done, in my body, my job, my life and others.  Lord you provide all that we need.  Remind us that every day.  Thank you-for the pain in my neck, I know I'm still alive.  For my messy house-I can afford a home.  For my homework, you have given me education.  For my adult daycare job-I am appreciated and trusted.  And for everything else, may I be subtly reminded to not take anything for granted. 

I resolve.....

I bloomed...not in the best of gardens

Unfortunately I mastered a skill I usually don't.  Have you ever been in a heated conversation, knowing you have the upper hand and the better argument, however you fail to mention your amazing points?  Afterwards you have a case of "I wish I said this..." or "Had I said this I'da had them in their tracks!"  Finally I didn't have to do that!  Short story-the car dealership we bought our new pride and joy from has some very aggressive managers who lack customer service skills.  They called me and right off the bat gave me all sorts of attitude.  Instead of shriveling up in a ball (which I think was his intention), I told him to stop, they would not be speaking to me that way and let's try this again.  That unfortunately didn't work, so I yelled, yelled like I've never yelled at an adult.  I said everything I needed to say, without cursing, (go me), and managed to make the manager realize how wrong he was, though he was still very aggressive.  So while I may have bloomed in this current garden, it sort of feels like I bloomed in the flower bed outside of McDonald's.  I was the prettiest flower out there, but I'm still outside of McDonald's (kid don't you feed me a fry!) :) 

So yay blooming, but I'm going to try and not be in those gardens anymore :)

Failure to bloom

Bloom where I am planted

Anyone who knows me, knows I am completely guilty of generally despising something about my current life situation (for the last few years it has mostly been work).  I’m always counting down to something bigger and better.  Even now I am counting down to leaving my current job to return home, live with my husband and resume my former job.  Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying there is anything wrong with my wanting to be returning home.  However, I know that I have failed to bloom where I was planted; instead I have fumed, and generally been in need of constant pruning from God and all those he uses to do this.  I realize that I have on a whole not taken advantage of the places God has planted me at all.  Sure I have selfishly taken advantage of these places-- financially, finishing my school, getting back in shape—but what do those things matter when we’re talking about eternity?  What have I done to show God’s love and be an example of him?  So, in an effort to bloom more, I am going to begin with (attempting to) not complain.  Really what does complaining do—nothing but supposedly make me feel better, when the reality is it only gets me more stirred up and more than likely stirs other up.  Assess the situation, if I can bloom, great if not—be the tree that can still bear fruit later on.  Second step—seriously stop telling people things they really don’t need to know for the sake of conversations!  Bah I find myself doing this all the time.  

While I have submitted that work not be greatest area to bear fruit (I may never be jumping for joy at my work…), I can still utilize whatever job I get thrown in, to bear fruit for the Lord.  I can still be a bright and shining bloom instead of a Debbie downer! :) 

So…

Passage 1 Corinthians 7:17-24:

   ¹⁷ Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches. ¹⁸ For instance, a man who was circumcised before he became a believer should not try to reverse it. And the man who was uncircumcised when he became a believer should not be circumcised now. ¹⁹ For it makes no difference whether or not a man has been circumcised. The important thing is to keep God’s commandments.

   ²⁰ Yes, each of you should remain as you were when God called you. ²¹ Are you a slave? Don’t let that worry you—but if you get a chance to be free, take it. ²² And remember, if you were a slave when the Lord called you, you are now free in the Lord. And if you were free when the Lord called you, you are now a slave of Christ. ²³ God paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world.^{[a] 24} Each of you, dear brothers and sisters,^[b] should remain as you were when God first called you.

-----

My prayer Lord is for your continual guidance to bloom where you plant me, to be a positive example of your kingdom and your Love.  Lord please also guide anyone else who is also struggling with their current pot you have planted them in.  Let us all bloom in your time.  Amen!

P.S.  

(Not a P.S. prayer-but a P.S. side note)—part of this drive to bloom where I am planted is because I can see God re-planting me in situations I have been in before.  Clearly I did not bloom in those seasons when he put me through them before, and really it would be much easier for me if I didn’t have to repeat seasons! :)  Silly me! 

P.P.S-Anyone else experienced blooming issues? Can I add anyone/anything to my prayer list?

The world makes God an easy choice

http://www.newsok.com/satanic-group-to-hold-october-event-at-oklahoma-citys-civic-center/article/3490365?custom_click=email_lead_story_title

A quote from the article "it (the Satanic church congregation) is made up of people who believe in Satan as a friendly entity, people who believe there are no gods and people, like himself, who believe they are gods"

If there are no gods, how can you be gods?

God thank you for making it so easy to chose you. Thank you for making the alternative seem so absurd that you appeal to our earthly philosophy. Lord I pray for these people, that they will understand that there is a God, not made by man but that made man and that is Awesome. :)


Chris Tomlin sings it best:
Our God is greater
Our God is stronger
God you are higher than any other
Our God is Healer
Awesome in power

Someone busted up my I'm awesome party.....

Ever make a decision thinking "I'm going to do this because it's the right thing to do and I'm better than the other person because I know they wouldn't do it, and they'd pass the buck. Therefore I'm awesome b/c I'm the bigger person doing this"? Well I totally did that this week. Someone asked me to do something, though it wasn't completely in my lane, I quickly said sure I'd take care of it. Then quickly thought what a great person I was because I didn't tell them that that is really someone else's job. Patted myself on the back a few times, felt awesome doing this bit of 'charity' work. Only to have it blow up in my face! I literally couldn't do the work, the system wouldn't allow! I did all the prep work, got it 90% done and couldn't finish because of the way our system was set up. So I quickly thought no biggie I'd give it to the person who should have rightfully done it in the first place (I'd done the majority of the work, they would thank me right??). Only to have that person give me, holier than thou, attitude! What? I'm awesome, I was doing good deeds, doing the good deed dance??!! Ok maybe not dancing, pretty sure that isn't allowed in uniform, where I work.

Moral of my story: I need to stop congratulating myself because I'm soooo much better than people, and realize that everyone is going to disappoint me because there is only one Jesus. I need to do good deeds because that is love and love is God. When I do these good deeds I don't need anyone's thanks or congratulations, I just need to do them.

So this is my prayer, that I will love, as God loves, because God is love.

1John4:7-8
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Real Quick Like

Thank the Lord for some cooler, more bearable weather! Ah God thank you! Also want to give thanks for some less stressful days at work-last week I was hating it-this week not so tough! Praise him for giving me things to look forward to! Like Doug coming to see me for a bit before he goes to Pittsburgh to see his family and for his brother/sister-in law niece AND nephew coming next weekend to visit. Stoked to share our home w/ our family! God is Good! :)

Silence and Obligation

I know I know I’ve been quite the slacker with my own blog! It all started with a church service that focused on listening to God. In service we stopped and just sat in silence with God for a few minutes….IT WAS TORTURE. I was out, in public, I wanted to look around, to sing, to do anything but just sit in silence…even if it was with God. I then realized this clearly was an area in which I had room to grow. I then started to just take time to listen to God. I will admit that I still am not very good at it. I find myself doing it when I don’t want to do something else that I should (get out of bed and go to the gym…no I’ll just lay here and listen for God…), or find myself doing the talking. (And I’m pretty sure a time or two I asked for my neon sign again. “Hope, this way”….) So needless to say, I am still working on this. Working on blocking everything out, making time for God rather than squeezing him in when I’m procrastinating and really opening my heart for God to speak to me.
I’ve also been struggling with acts of service or gifts that should be out of love…but are not, and not expecting anything in return. To me, I feel like too many occasions (and people in my life) have obligated gifts associated with them. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE giving gifts. Love thinking about them, deciding what neat thing I’m going to buy or make (all the better) and then surprising people with them. I despise when I am obligated to give a gift. You tell me I HAVE to do anything, and immediately I don’t want to do it…really badly! (I also have the inverse problem…tell me not to do something and that makes me really want to do it…but that is not today’s woe…lol). So how do I trade obligation and ‘I don’t wanna’ into…I love you and love giving gifts. I haven’t quite conquered it (in fact I’ve put off getting a gift that I know I just need to get and send…) but I’m praying…praying that God will fill my heart with his unconditional love. The love that wishes to give and serve, always.

Father, thank you for the amazing weekend Doug and I spent together. I pray I can continue growing in my quest to sit in the silence and soak up your word, to really listen to what you are telling me. Lord I also pray that you’d help me to not expect anything in return from those I give gifts to, and to, no matter the circumstance, give freely and with your love. In your son’s amazing name I pray, Amen!

Lord you are my target

Recently, at work, I was working a case that was near and dear to me. For those that don't know I work as a Summary Courts Officer, inventorying all personal effects of those that are KIA or WIA (wounded) overseas. Not the most chipper of jobs. But I was working on the case of a Air Force Officer who was KIA last month. This case was important because he was a friend of a friend and that friend asked me to see it was taken care of. Being that it was a fellow Airman as well, it touched me. Not to mention-a fellow officer. But what struck me while inventorying his stuff, was a letter from his wife. Short and sweet she told him not to worry about her. I thought as I sent off my own husband-how I could not muster up the strength to do the same. Now don't get me wrong-sending him off sucks. I just wish I had the strength in God that she had (as I saw from other notes) to see me through the tough times. I want that faith, to not think of myself, not just through deployments, but anything that life, and my family and friends go through.
Lord-First and foremost I pray that you will wrap your loving arms around those who grieve because their loved ones will not be coming home. I also pray that you continue to strengthen my faith in you. Strengthen it so that when trouble looms in the distance, I don't focus on it, but instead focus on you. Lord, let me be reminded that you are my target. In your Son's amazing name I pray, Amen!

A funny, a truthful funny...

I almost forgot...service yesterday had me laughing so hard and one of my favorite lines went something like this: Jesus said come as you are. Of course you are a mess...this is why we have a Mess-iah! Ok not sure if I'm the only on on the floor, but I love that line!

It's Simple-Love God and Love others...or is it??!!

So another great day at church yesterday! I really love this church (the one in Md). The pastor spoke about reducing the complexity that we have put not only in our life but in our faith. I know I have fell victim to thinking “I have to go to this church function to be a good Christian” or “I have to donate to this specific charity to be a good Christian.” It was great to hear a Pastor say that wasn’t what was important. He explained how deadly this complexity can be because ultimately it will turn believers off from God, which is the opposite of what we are supposed to be doing! (Ah this felt like my childhood Catholicism finally being put in its place-sorry Catholics!). All in all, the pastor reduced the complexity to this passage in the bible:

Mark 12:28-31 28 One of the teachers of religious law was standing there listening to the debate. He realized that Jesus had answered well, so he asked, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”
29 Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. 30 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ 31 The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”

The pastor described these as L1& L2-Love God above all else, Love others. This is what you have to do; this is all you have to do. Now clearly this isn’t easy.

Last week I got very frustrated when a friend was complaining to me about things that seemed very trivial. How could she have the nerve to complain about things that she brought on herself and in my mind were so petty-when I had real problems? Only to have me try and explain my frustration to my husband at which point he downplayed the complexity of my problems, just as I’d done to my friend. So this past week I’ve learned the lesson if I want to be loved in my problems I need to love others in theirs. God loves me when I am wallowing, so I should do the same. I’m working really hard not to judge, and just listen with an open, prayerful heart.

God please open my heart to love others as you love me. You love me where I am, in spite of what I am; remind me to do the same for others. Lord thank you for the problems you have given me, thank you for those trials so that I may continue my journey and grow stronger each day. Lord, I pray for you to guide me in the issues that trouble me, as well as guide my friends and family in their times of trouble. In your son’s amazing name I pray, Amen!

One Nation Under God

As we move into the Fourth of July weekend and start our backyard festivities, I've heard some really great points this week on kLove (klove.com-check it out) about the Fourth of July and other things to celebrate other than...awesome burgers :) As we know our nation was created with faith as strong foundation for the country. It is everywhere in what the founding fathers wrote; everywhere that is currently, slowly being eradicated from the public, under the guise of separation of church and state. None the less we must remember, and remain that we are One Nation Under God. If we forget that piece of humility, what are we-as a nation and individuals?
In that same realm, as we celebrate our Independence and all the freedoms that we enjoy. We must remember a few things. We must remember that is Christ that allowed us those freedoms, not the for-fathers of our nation. It is through our Lord through those that penned the Constitution and Bill of Rights that we enjoy the freedoms we enjoy today. So be thankful for those that founded our nation, that fought for our rights, that continue to fight- but ultimately thank the good Lord for our freedom which he provided.
And lastly-as we celebrate our Independence, I am continually striving to celebrate my dependence on God. I'm amazingly good at thinking I trust God, but I continually play volleyball with my problems and take them back from God as if I think he can't solve them.
Holy Father-this weekend I thank you so much for all the freedoms I enjoy and take for granted. I thank you for giving us your Son, who gave us the ultimate freedom. I pray that our nation will continue to recognize that we are nothing if we are not a nation under God. I also pray for you to continually remind me to be dependent on you; that you will do what you say you will and to completely hand my troubles over to you. As always I pray for those who are separated from their loved ones; may they return home safely. Lord please also continually remind me to dance in your praise, as I still struggle to remember to do that. In your Son's glorious name I pray, Amen!

It's time start dancing!

The last two weeks in church (in two different churches, since I’m a roaming gnome), they sang the Chris Tomlin song Our God is Greater.  And each week I got really choked up during the chorus and bridge.  This part:

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?

I have no clue what is coming over me each week, other than God constantly reminding me that he is really greater.  That nothing that happens here on earth can ever halt my God and his love for me.  After I get over my emotional bout in the first 10 min of church, I am constantly distracted (at our church in Jersey), by the massive amounts of little kids!  Man they are too cute, ok reeling my attention back in on the service…but the newborn in front of me is staring at me!

The lesson this week was on 1 Kings 18 specifically 18:16-39.  I may have very well missed the overall point of the lesson but this is what I drew from it: Elijah was fed up with those worshiping false gods (yes another false god lesson…apparently I really need to look at this), and asked them  21”How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal (their false god) is God, follow him”.  The Chaplin explained the Elijah was fed up and was telling the people, just pick a side, whatever it is that you are going to worship, and worship it full on.  Don’t waiver between God and your false gods, pick a side.   He also asked a question which stuck with me-what are you dancing about?  Are you dancing about your team winning, or your great accomplishment (false gods of our time)?  Or are you dancing about God’s greatness?  How awesome God is to allow those amazing things to happen to you?

So this week I’m going to work on my dancing (I know, watch out right?) J  I’m going to work on dancing (maybe more mental than physical), for God’s awesomeness.  Remembering that it isn’t I who accomplishes anything, but his love through me which gives me talents. 

God, thank you for another day closer to Doug coming home.  I pray that you will continue to calm my heart during the last days of his deployment.  Lord I pray for continual reasons to dance in your name; I pray for the safe return of Hubby/Daddy Fillmore to Mama Fillmore, I pray for Capt Aubrious’ journey to Qatar this summer, use her to bless those there, I pray for Mel-O’s dad’s health and for her peace of mind during this tough time, I pray for Colin as he deals with the loss of his mom, I pray for my in-laws as they prepare to begin the journey to sell their home, may this bring them some financial security and all those who are slipping my mind now.  Lord give us reasons to dance, even if it be through the tears.  In your Son’s holy name I pray (and dance). Amen!

from rant to prayer

 I wasn't sure that I would blog every day, but God keeps on putting things on my heart, so I blog.  I began by thinking I'd post a prayer list every so often.  My prayer list began something like this:

- My good friend Colin and his family who just laid his mother to rest last Friday.  May they be comforted by knowing she is in heaven and may God comfort them through their time of grief.
- Melissa's Dad-he is undergoing surgery for cancer.  I pray for a speedy recovery, for it to be as the doctor says, low threat and truely caught at the best time.  I also pray for his family, namely Melissa.  May they not worry about anything, but pray about everything and truely find comfort on your holiness Lord.
- For spouses who are separated by deployment, namely Jen and Greg.  May God use these tough times to strengthen their marriages and their faith in him. 
- Lork please be with the executives and the researches (really smart people) of BP.  Lord show them how to fix this massive problem.  Lord I pray that they may stop relying on their own knowledge and turn their eyes on you, and your knowledge. 
- The faith of my family.  I have not yet been able to share my faith, or really discuss faith with my mom or brothers.  Lord I pray that you would give me the right words when the time is right, in your time to share your good news.
- For our news outlets, namely CNN, which is driven by our society, that they may see the sin in their ways and repent.

Ok so this is where I rant. (So maybe it's more pray rant pray...) I was a bit shocked and upset when I was scrolling the CNN.com news page today to see at the very bottom of the page, where there are headings for all sorts of categories...sports, entertainment, to see the category "Gay in America."  I thought well surely there was a religion/faith category and I just missed it...nope.  No such luck.  So what am I ranting about...I really don't know.  I don't know to whether to be upset about the fact that there is such a category, that there is a lack of religion category (which to me means faith isn't as big a part of our world as we'd like to think), or both!  I quickly realized that anger wasn't the answer, and started to pray.  Only to then come home and read my devotional titled ASAP-Always Say A Prayer.  2 Kings 19:19 "O Lord our God, I pray, save us from his hand, that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that You are the Lord God, You alone."  So instead of ranting about either, I pray. 

Lord I pray that you will re-instill you love and your faith back into our world.  Show us what it is that we can do to rid the world of sin and replace it with your love.  So that instead of sinful and negative headlines our news will consist of sharing your love with our brothers and sisters in Christ.  Amen! 

paper still not done....

but what the hay....today was my first day at a new church (again...), but clearly God had the message already prepared just for me.  The message focused on idols other than God, mainly our earthly bodies, our obsession to transform it into something its not and our fantasy that we can life forever.  While it is important to take care of the gift of a body that God has given us, there is also an unhealthy and idolatry issue with this.  Ah this  was speaking right to me! I've been struggeling with weight gain, and lack of motivation to run, which used to come naturally to me.  I've defined my adult life as being a workout queen and a runner.  However that isn't the case lately, so I joined a gym, I hired a personal trainer, I write down what I eat (hate that!).  Part of me wondered if I was just in a different phase of my life where running wouldn't be my identity and it was time for a new one.  Well clearly that was the message today.  Not that I'm going to quit running, or get a refund on my personal trainer, but I'm not going to let that run my life and become an obsession.  I have to run to praise God for the body he has given me, not run to prove something to myself or others. 

The second part of the message was tougher for me.  I've been struggling with working in a job where I'm bombarded with death every day, with Doug overseas.  But the message was a reminder that we are not earthly beings with heavenly experiences, we are heavenly beings and this is our earthly experience.  This, what we do every day, the goals we set before us and strive to achieve, are only temporary.  Our permanent place is our home in heaven with God. 

So today I pray for God to show me all the things that I have been falsely idolizing and to take them off their thrown, and to replace the rightful owner of that thrown, Jesus Christ.  I pray for others who are struggling with earthly goals and idols who may not realize it.  I pray that God will open their eyes, so that they may return their focus on him.  Lord please be with those who are separated from their spouses, that their spouses may return home to them safe and sound.  Please bless all the fathers, father figures and those that yearn for a father.  May they all recognize you as their one true father.  In  your son's name I pray, Amen!

Happy Father's Day friends!   

The jist.... (and first blog)

So...this is my first attempt at this whole blogging thing, and I shouldn't even be doing it b/c I totally have a 15 pg paper waiting to be written.  But I feel compelled none the less.  I'm hoping this will become a space where instead of follow up on who is doing what or saying what (ahem-facebook), we/I can follow where friends need prayer and we can share faith experiences.  The way I was thinking (the way God was thinking through me), is that I want to focus on the faith in life not the fake.  So I'm attempting to move from gossip to God :)  I'll try and post every few days, please feel free to comment, no guilt trips her though.  If this isn't your bag it won't hurt my feelings.  

So my very first blog....well I certainly see God working in a lot of ways lately, from Suz calling last night when I was feeling lonely to a friend saying she believes only started believing in God because I forgave her.  So I know he is here and I know he has a purpose for me working in this awful job here in Md while Doug is deployed.  But this has also been a time of great prayer and lows too.  Every day I'm bombarded with fear and loneliness, that I have to continually pray away.  And to make matters worse, now that we are at the tail end of Doug's deployment our emotions and tempers have naturally begun to flare.  3 days in a row, we've gotten into tiffs during our phone calls.  This is not normal at all for us, but I realize it is normal for the deployments.

Today I pray for God to calm my fears, and to guide Doug and I through these emotional last days of his deployment.  I pray for him to show me my purpose, not only here in this job, but in life (what am I supposed to be when I grow up!), in his time.  Lord, please wrap your loving arms around the families of those whose loved ones will not be coming home.  Send your angels of peace to the nations that are currently at war.  Thwart the plans of those that intend harm, and fill their hearts with your love.  May all those who need prayer cry out to you, in your son Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

~*~Happy Saturday to you friends~*~