I bloomed...not in the best of gardens

Unfortunately I mastered a skill I usually don't.  Have you ever been in a heated conversation, knowing you have the upper hand and the better argument, however you fail to mention your amazing points?  Afterwards you have a case of "I wish I said this..." or "Had I said this I'da had them in their tracks!"  Finally I didn't have to do that!  Short story-the car dealership we bought our new pride and joy from has some very aggressive managers who lack customer service skills.  They called me and right off the bat gave me all sorts of attitude.  Instead of shriveling up in a ball (which I think was his intention), I told him to stop, they would not be speaking to me that way and let's try this again.  That unfortunately didn't work, so I yelled, yelled like I've never yelled at an adult.  I said everything I needed to say, without cursing, (go me), and managed to make the manager realize how wrong he was, though he was still very aggressive.  So while I may have bloomed in this current garden, it sort of feels like I bloomed in the flower bed outside of McDonald's.  I was the prettiest flower out there, but I'm still outside of McDonald's (kid don't you feed me a fry!) :) 

So yay blooming, but I'm going to try and not be in those gardens anymore :)

Failure to bloom

Bloom where I am planted

Anyone who knows me, knows I am completely guilty of generally despising something about my current life situation (for the last few years it has mostly been work).  I’m always counting down to something bigger and better.  Even now I am counting down to leaving my current job to return home, live with my husband and resume my former job.  Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying there is anything wrong with my wanting to be returning home.  However, I know that I have failed to bloom where I was planted; instead I have fumed, and generally been in need of constant pruning from God and all those he uses to do this.  I realize that I have on a whole not taken advantage of the places God has planted me at all.  Sure I have selfishly taken advantage of these places-- financially, finishing my school, getting back in shape—but what do those things matter when we’re talking about eternity?  What have I done to show God’s love and be an example of him?  So, in an effort to bloom more, I am going to begin with (attempting to) not complain.  Really what does complaining do—nothing but supposedly make me feel better, when the reality is it only gets me more stirred up and more than likely stirs other up.  Assess the situation, if I can bloom, great if not—be the tree that can still bear fruit later on.  Second step—seriously stop telling people things they really don’t need to know for the sake of conversations!  Bah I find myself doing this all the time.  

While I have submitted that work not be greatest area to bear fruit (I may never be jumping for joy at my work…), I can still utilize whatever job I get thrown in, to bear fruit for the Lord.  I can still be a bright and shining bloom instead of a Debbie downer! :) 

So…

Passage 1 Corinthians 7:17-24:

   ¹⁷ Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches. ¹⁸ For instance, a man who was circumcised before he became a believer should not try to reverse it. And the man who was uncircumcised when he became a believer should not be circumcised now. ¹⁹ For it makes no difference whether or not a man has been circumcised. The important thing is to keep God’s commandments.

   ²⁰ Yes, each of you should remain as you were when God called you. ²¹ Are you a slave? Don’t let that worry you—but if you get a chance to be free, take it. ²² And remember, if you were a slave when the Lord called you, you are now free in the Lord. And if you were free when the Lord called you, you are now a slave of Christ. ²³ God paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world.^{[a] 24} Each of you, dear brothers and sisters,^[b] should remain as you were when God first called you.

-----

My prayer Lord is for your continual guidance to bloom where you plant me, to be a positive example of your kingdom and your Love.  Lord please also guide anyone else who is also struggling with their current pot you have planted them in.  Let us all bloom in your time.  Amen!

P.S.  

(Not a P.S. prayer-but a P.S. side note)—part of this drive to bloom where I am planted is because I can see God re-planting me in situations I have been in before.  Clearly I did not bloom in those seasons when he put me through them before, and really it would be much easier for me if I didn’t have to repeat seasons! :)  Silly me! 

P.P.S-Anyone else experienced blooming issues? Can I add anyone/anything to my prayer list?

The world makes God an easy choice

http://www.newsok.com/satanic-group-to-hold-october-event-at-oklahoma-citys-civic-center/article/3490365?custom_click=email_lead_story_title

A quote from the article "it (the Satanic church congregation) is made up of people who believe in Satan as a friendly entity, people who believe there are no gods and people, like himself, who believe they are gods"

If there are no gods, how can you be gods?

God thank you for making it so easy to chose you. Thank you for making the alternative seem so absurd that you appeal to our earthly philosophy. Lord I pray for these people, that they will understand that there is a God, not made by man but that made man and that is Awesome. :)


Chris Tomlin sings it best:
Our God is greater
Our God is stronger
God you are higher than any other
Our God is Healer
Awesome in power

Someone busted up my I'm awesome party.....

Ever make a decision thinking "I'm going to do this because it's the right thing to do and I'm better than the other person because I know they wouldn't do it, and they'd pass the buck. Therefore I'm awesome b/c I'm the bigger person doing this"? Well I totally did that this week. Someone asked me to do something, though it wasn't completely in my lane, I quickly said sure I'd take care of it. Then quickly thought what a great person I was because I didn't tell them that that is really someone else's job. Patted myself on the back a few times, felt awesome doing this bit of 'charity' work. Only to have it blow up in my face! I literally couldn't do the work, the system wouldn't allow! I did all the prep work, got it 90% done and couldn't finish because of the way our system was set up. So I quickly thought no biggie I'd give it to the person who should have rightfully done it in the first place (I'd done the majority of the work, they would thank me right??). Only to have that person give me, holier than thou, attitude! What? I'm awesome, I was doing good deeds, doing the good deed dance??!! Ok maybe not dancing, pretty sure that isn't allowed in uniform, where I work.

Moral of my story: I need to stop congratulating myself because I'm soooo much better than people, and realize that everyone is going to disappoint me because there is only one Jesus. I need to do good deeds because that is love and love is God. When I do these good deeds I don't need anyone's thanks or congratulations, I just need to do them.

So this is my prayer, that I will love, as God loves, because God is love.

1John4:7-8
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Real Quick Like

Thank the Lord for some cooler, more bearable weather! Ah God thank you! Also want to give thanks for some less stressful days at work-last week I was hating it-this week not so tough! Praise him for giving me things to look forward to! Like Doug coming to see me for a bit before he goes to Pittsburgh to see his family and for his brother/sister-in law niece AND nephew coming next weekend to visit. Stoked to share our home w/ our family! God is Good! :)

Silence and Obligation

I know I know I’ve been quite the slacker with my own blog! It all started with a church service that focused on listening to God. In service we stopped and just sat in silence with God for a few minutes….IT WAS TORTURE. I was out, in public, I wanted to look around, to sing, to do anything but just sit in silence…even if it was with God. I then realized this clearly was an area in which I had room to grow. I then started to just take time to listen to God. I will admit that I still am not very good at it. I find myself doing it when I don’t want to do something else that I should (get out of bed and go to the gym…no I’ll just lay here and listen for God…), or find myself doing the talking. (And I’m pretty sure a time or two I asked for my neon sign again. “Hope, this way”….) So needless to say, I am still working on this. Working on blocking everything out, making time for God rather than squeezing him in when I’m procrastinating and really opening my heart for God to speak to me.
I’ve also been struggling with acts of service or gifts that should be out of love…but are not, and not expecting anything in return. To me, I feel like too many occasions (and people in my life) have obligated gifts associated with them. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE giving gifts. Love thinking about them, deciding what neat thing I’m going to buy or make (all the better) and then surprising people with them. I despise when I am obligated to give a gift. You tell me I HAVE to do anything, and immediately I don’t want to do it…really badly! (I also have the inverse problem…tell me not to do something and that makes me really want to do it…but that is not today’s woe…lol). So how do I trade obligation and ‘I don’t wanna’ into…I love you and love giving gifts. I haven’t quite conquered it (in fact I’ve put off getting a gift that I know I just need to get and send…) but I’m praying…praying that God will fill my heart with his unconditional love. The love that wishes to give and serve, always.

Father, thank you for the amazing weekend Doug and I spent together. I pray I can continue growing in my quest to sit in the silence and soak up your word, to really listen to what you are telling me. Lord I also pray that you’d help me to not expect anything in return from those I give gifts to, and to, no matter the circumstance, give freely and with your love. In your son’s amazing name I pray, Amen!

Lord you are my target

Recently, at work, I was working a case that was near and dear to me. For those that don't know I work as a Summary Courts Officer, inventorying all personal effects of those that are KIA or WIA (wounded) overseas. Not the most chipper of jobs. But I was working on the case of a Air Force Officer who was KIA last month. This case was important because he was a friend of a friend and that friend asked me to see it was taken care of. Being that it was a fellow Airman as well, it touched me. Not to mention-a fellow officer. But what struck me while inventorying his stuff, was a letter from his wife. Short and sweet she told him not to worry about her. I thought as I sent off my own husband-how I could not muster up the strength to do the same. Now don't get me wrong-sending him off sucks. I just wish I had the strength in God that she had (as I saw from other notes) to see me through the tough times. I want that faith, to not think of myself, not just through deployments, but anything that life, and my family and friends go through.
Lord-First and foremost I pray that you will wrap your loving arms around those who grieve because their loved ones will not be coming home. I also pray that you continue to strengthen my faith in you. Strengthen it so that when trouble looms in the distance, I don't focus on it, but instead focus on you. Lord, let me be reminded that you are my target. In your Son's amazing name I pray, Amen!